This was my third mother's day.
I'll be honest. On my first Mother's Day I felt ENTITLED to my Mother's Day!
Afterall, I had just birthed a baby and I was running on no sleep.
On this, my third Mother's Day, I feel UNDESERVING.
Parenting is hard on so many levels that I was unaware of on that first mother's day. As I sat in church Sunday as I listened to declarations of mothering in our lives, I wanted nothing more than to be with my mother. And so, I packed up Reyna and headed on a spontaneous trip to San Antonio to crash the Mother's Day party there.
and I am so glad I did.
It was really a celebration of Isavel Reyna, my grandmother. As she was showered with love from 11 (of 12) of her children, I sat in amazement that this little lady DID that. Physically. Mentally. Emotionally. Then I looked around the room at my aunts and cousins who are all mothers now.
Mothers in attendance:
- Isavel Reyna (12)
- Isabel Moran (3)
- Delia McCumber (4)
- Sylvia Ramos (1)
- Lori Alaniz (4)
- Josie McCumber (2)
- Becky Alvarado (4)
- Me (1)
and I somehow felt undeserving.
Within the everyday joyous experiences of motherhood, every one of THESE mothers has a hard story. A tough pregnancy. Being abused while pregnant. Being 40 and pregnant. Loosing a day old baby. Single parenting. Broken relationships with their children. Military parenting, etc.
While I think I am a good Mom, and mothering is not a contest, I think matriarchs should be celebrated. The "tough stuff" I deal with is what every mother deals with-grumpiness, potty training, lack of sleep and time. So while I may not have experienced death or grief or 'hardness', I am a young mother with lots of mothering ahead, and knowing these women gives me confidence that I can mother through all mothering scenarios.
I may not be deserving, I am grateful to be in the club with all these mothers (and many others in my life).