Every month has been a whirlwind of emotions. I feel like I have been flying by the seat of my pants but loving every moment of it!
At this milestone, I want to take a minute and write out my thoughts about this child.
So many pictures have been taken. It is so easy and convenient. I go back through them and can be taken back to that moment but even those memories are fading already!
At 6 months, I feel so lucky to be a witness to this little developing person.
Her personality is peeking through and it is so fun!
She is cheerful, always smiling. Even in pain, she tries flash a smile. She loves people and is quite the social butterfly. She loves to be outdoors which I hope is a sign that she will be adventurous.
We have often been told by day care sitters that she is the most "chill" baby in the bunch. And I believe it. She is content and loves her toys. She knows who we are and can recognize faces.
She is a great traveler and enjoys new places.
With every story read, every hug given, and all the smiles flashed, I hope she feels how much I love her.
At church this weekend, the sermon was about how to worship. I heard, "Raising a child is worship".
I believe that! What a blessing it has been! Now, to give it back to HIM....that is the challenge!
My 10:00 class is over. I head down to my office and I find Neil and Reyna waiting for me outside my office. We discuss: "when did she last eat, "Has she napped", " You picked a cute outfit", "When will you be home?". A quick switcharoo so Daddy can go to school in Austin. With 3 hours till my next class, we go for a walk. Let's see if our friend Roberto is in his office! He is there! We decide to catch up over coffee. As we walk to the coffee shop on the other side of campus, I become aware of the extra half mile we have to take to find all the ramps for the stroller. I am aware of how warm and sunny it is as I move the canopy of the stroller everytime we make a turn. Also, strollers don't fit in Starbucks lines very well. We order and as I stand and wait for my name to be called, I notice it...I pick her up and find what I thought I would...the source of THAT smell. We squeeze the stroller through the narrowest, longest bathroom hallways I have EVER seen for a quick change that lasts about ten minutes since it includes a full wipe down in the sink! As I remove the "cute outfit" I hope that there is something to wear in there. Victory! A semi-clean, too small onsie. We emerge with a new outfit and are greeted by Roberto, seasoned father of two, who gives me a look of understanding. As we find a small table with room for a stroller, we start catching up on summer happenings. That first taste of my white hot chocolate is perfect. I guess Reyna is eager to try some to because in the blink of an eye, she has lunged over and knocked my cup to the ground. Splashing Roberto's pants and leaving a huge mess on the floor. We used about two trees worth of napkins to clean it up and pick up on conversation where we left off - kids, daycare, and teething. That first and last taste of white hot chocolate is a distant memory. One hour of my day.
I have been asked the question many times now, "How has life changed?"
This is how.
*not complaining, just a snapshot. Also, it was a distaster but I was able to laugh about it immediately. Thankful for understaning friends like Roberto :)
I have always known that I would be a working mom.
I love my job, but that did not make it any easier to start working.
I tried to ease my way into it. Having Neil bring her for lunch last week, having a sitter for a couple of hours. Mom watched her for 6 hours while we went to the football game on Sunday.
Today was the first day a daycare and I just couldn't do it.
Neil dropped her off.
I picked her up, thinking she would greet me with smiles and cuddles.
She just look at me desperately. I tried to put her in the carseat but she just screamed!
Could it be that she just wanted to be held? I don't know but I held her anyways.
The care takers said she slept for 20 minutes the whole day!
I pushed her in the stroller around the mall and she fell asleep pronto! I wanted her to keep sleeping so I pushed. and pushed. and pushed for 1.5 hours. I don't know what the answers are so as we figure all of this out I'm just writing to ask for your prayers for peace.
It seems she just wants to be held.
She wakes up during the night not to eat.
She hates her crib. Tolerates the bassinet (which she is growing out of) and loves our bed.
So many contradictary ideas run thorough my mind.
Let her self soothe.
How dare you let her cry it out.
Nursing in your bed is fine.
She should be in her crib by now.
She needs to fall asleep on her own.
It's too quiet when she naps. Why can't she nap at daycare? (duh)
I'm not sure there is a right answer and every family is different. My decisions are based on two ideas.I want to be able to do my job well and I want to parent well, too!
So please, prayers - or advise.
(I am not offended by advise as long as you are not offended if I don't take it)